I want to echo what was said in the e-myth book about 3 personalities in one. This was a business book but I can so see the parallels with motherhood!
- The visionary
- The executer
- The manager
We all have visions and dreams of what we imagine we’ll be like as a mother… you’ll never be that mum that shouts at her children in the supermarket or the one that barely pays attention to her child in the playground. They’ll never watch TV, always eat organic, go to bed on time, be polite and extremely intelligent.
The executer is where most mums are. Live in the present. Reactive to the situations. Clean up after the food mess, laundry, nappy change, bath time, feeding time, clean up after toy mess, dress up, change kids after spilling hot chocolate on their clothes, repeat the same tasks day in day out, and within those days, repeat tasks multiple times a day. How many times do you have to put on socks and shoes before you go out. And they magically seem to come off and you repeat the same task over and over again like a mad person.
The manager is when you find yourself delegating tasks like cleaning or childcare in some cases. You state what you want then ensure it’s been done to your standard. You have clarity because you’ve taken a step back from the immediate task. This is a good place to be. One of serenity and calmness.
Which one are you?
Have you ever found yourself asking someone else to do one of the daily task while you either watched from a distance or could just overhear from a different room. When say your husband is doing the spaghetti feeding to the toddler, then you hear a huge bang (plate dropping on the floor) followed by a moan from hubby “orrrhhhaaarrhh Ayooooo!” that always used to make me laugh. I would even find it very cute that all the food ended up on the floor or that he yet again topped up his water. But that was because I was removed from the situation and that allowed me to know that that little incident did not matter in the grand scheme of things. But also I knew that I would not be the the one having to deal with cleaning up all of that mess. Being the manager allows you to take a step back and get some perspective on the situation.
You can be a manager even if you’re the one doing the execution. It’s just a mindset shift.
Of course, in order to have a successful household, you need all 3. But these 3 need to be balanced. You can’t all be vision. Or 100% executer without taking a step back to say create a process.
One of the greatest things that happened to me was having an au pair at home. It forced me to write down a process. What we do when etc. This just forces you to create a role of manager, executer and visionary. I will talk more about this in another post. But it really allowed for the vision of where we wanted to be (articulating our values) and write down/break down every tasks in order to delegate/split the tasks..