Here is some of what the OED has to say about spontaneous:
Performed or occurring without external cause or stimulus; coming naturally or freely, unpremeditated; voluntarily, done of one’s own accord; unconstrained, uninhibited, natural.
I’ve been moving into a new way of being, a new way of conducting myself. And I have found it INCREDIBLY difficult to leave the old habits behind. Here it is: I am NOT a planner. It stresses me out to make plans a week from now or two weeks from now. I don’t want a “phone date” on a Thursday evening. I want to talk on the phone when I feel moved to do so. I realize there are times when planning is necessary, but largely, I don’t like to make plans. I find when I am living from a place of planning I begin to run from one thing to the next, regardless of whether I actually want to be doing that thing in that moment. It begins to feel the opposite of unconstrained, uninhibited, natural.
What feels MUCH better to me, is to not plan and let things arise naturally. If I am feeling spacious on a given afternoon and I wish to see a friend, then I’ll call and if it works out that we can get together, great. But if I am feeling more like I want to meditate or read or simply sit on the back porch and watch the robins hopping around in the grass on their search for worms, then I want the freedom to choose to do that.
I find that in the moment I’ll know what I really want to do, and not until then. The eternal moment before us contains a vast amount of wisdom. It is from whence we arise. It feels so much more spacious to be able to choose freely how to spend my time from that space. What is difficult about it for me is being that honest with people. In the past I’ve tended not to return phone calls as opposed to calling someone back and saying,” no, sorry, largely I don’t make plans anymore.” It feels like a hard thing to say to people .
But I am going to say it. Practice makes perfect. (or practice makes it easier, anyway)
I’m more interested in staying in alignment with what makes me feel free, spacious, inspired. And if I am there, I’ll actually have far more to give…
It is what has to happen for me to be authentic.
June 30, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Interesting way to apsire to be, I prefer not to make plans simply because more often than not when the time arises there is something else that I feel I want to do, plus I hate to be constrained by things, though more often than not of late I seem to have my world, days and time planned out for me and simply find myself carried along with things! Never getting what I need done the way I want to do it!
June 30, 2009 at 1:52 pm
I like being spontaneous but at the same time there something really sweet about anticipation.. I love to anticipate meeting someone all through the week.. for phoning I can never set a date as such.. infact am very lax at receiving or making calls.. but for other things I like to plan an activity..
But I do agree spontaneous actions are more fun and the joy that we derive from them linger longer than the usual planned to death activity..
I think a healthy mix of both unplanned n planned would be the balance I would look for
June 30, 2009 at 2:23 pm
oh how i hate planing.
one of the worse things exist for me. last here i was teaching in school (only twice a week), i had a plan for 5 month a head on which days and which hour i should be there, it was one of the hardest things in my life. i fully get you. i don’t think though, there is a reason to call back and say ‘ hey listen i am not planning any thing from now on’. it works well with just not calling back until you feel like.
but… i wish it would be possible to go around planing nothing, but i guess it cannot go…
good luck, though..
(i hope one day you will feel like answering)
June 30, 2009 at 2:26 pm
I like to plan; for me, it allows me to do away with the “what I should be doing” guilt and enjoy my free time more . . . which is all just to say, I think you’ve got to do what works for you, and I think it’s great that you can share that to help people better understand.
June 30, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Duma–I get it.
Winnie the Pooh–it is interesting how we each need different amounts of sunlight!
UF–I do answer, depending….
Laura–The world would be boring if we were all the same!
June 30, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Well stated. To live in the moment is to be spontaneous. I have found that plans and schedules are simply something to deviate from.
June 30, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Great thing to discuss. I used to make plans a lot, but now I let many things simply happen. Too bad I still can’t let some things go unplanned; I still have to meet office’s deadlines! And doing office works make me feel rushing to the next moment! Ahaha… any idea how to “flow” in the office works? Thank God I don’t work everyday
June 30, 2009 at 5:56 pm
To Be Me–I agree totally.
Ritzal–The work thing–make the ost of it? Go with it while we’re there…
June 30, 2009 at 7:59 pm
I dig it. I totally get you on this one.
And authentic? Oh yes, we have so much more to offer the world when we recognize what our true gifts are (NOT the ones we THINK we should have) and then share those gifts and talents freely…
Again, I dig it.
Great post, Molly.
: )
June 30, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Hi Molly-
I understand completely how random meetings, unplanned time with someone, spontaneity and being present to do and or be with whomever or alone and on and on….I also enjoy the excitement of planning a gathering for an occasion or an event or just because – I have become very select though about what and with whom I plan anything.- It, they, have to be special……..and I pretty much don’t do any of the “have to” things….. SO I hear ya loud and clear.
Love to you
Gail
peace…….
June 30, 2009 at 8:40 pm
So much of life has to be structured and schedules and appointments have to be kept, that it’s truly wondrous when you have those hours or days when anything is possible and whims are to be honored.
June 30, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Very good I think is is wonderful to live spontanious and I have no problems with that at all. I only plan work and kids school things and doctors appointments and the likes because otherwise I forget them
July 1, 2009 at 2:44 am
Molly,
It seems you and I are in similar places right now. I have been a major planner all of my life (comes from being a teacher for many years, I suspect) and I am finding great Joy in discovering that if I live completely in the moment, everything that needs to get done, gets done. Instead of the stress of To-Do lists, I am listening to the dictates of my heart and everything flows so much better. I am celebrating that both of us are discovering this and that we are “living in allow” more often. Blessings to you!
July 1, 2009 at 6:39 am
Grinch, here.
In my experience, one of the great gifts of meditation retreats is the schedule. The darn schedule forces me to do things that I don’t want to do, when I don’t want to do them, with people I don’t want to do them with. The schedule completely works against spontaneity and impulse.
And, yet, out of that rigid structure, something quite remarkable appears: we get a deeper and more spacious view into ourselves.
And that’s the really important thing – and the gift of practice: to see those aspects of our lives that otherwise would remain hidden.
Having said all this, I’m with you . . . I resist making plans and scheduling myself out for days at a time. I resist it, but sometimes I do it anyway. It’s okay.
July 1, 2009 at 9:50 am
Hi Molly, I know exactly what you mean. I have found that if I will do what feels the best I get everything done with energy to spare and I enjoy the doing. I think it is because I am following my natural rhythm and flow instead of fighting my natural rhythm and flow to follow some ideal of how things should go. I do have things I plan, structure, if you will, I love structure, it helps me to clarify and proceed. First I listen to my voice and then I make a plan that values what I want.
Like, I go to my store and I have certain hours, but I choose those according to what makes me feel good. It makes me feel good to follow through and do what I say. It also makes me feel good to make changes when what I have been doing no longer makes me feel good. Kind of a balance between my masculine and my feminine. Listening and valuing .
Thank you my friend for a stimulating topic! xoxo
July 2, 2009 at 6:08 am
This really resonated with me. I find myself spending less time with people (outside of work and meetings, e.g. the weekly dharma talk) because everyone is “booked” for a week or two in advance. I don’t want to “check my calendar” to see whether I am free for lunch a month from Tuesday! My gosh, can’t we just say, “Let’s go to lunch tomorrow?” or, “What to see a movie Saturday?” And making an appointment for a phone call — yikes!
July 2, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Just saying it – that’s the truly authentic thing to do. It’s authentic because you’re being true to yourself AND being thoughtful enough to be truthful to others! Spontaneity isn’t about doing whatever you want to do, when you want to do it – I’d call that casualness. Spontaneity, in the view of practice, is doing what’s needed and appropriate on the spot, on the dot, right on time – now that’s precision that comes from the true discipline of spontaneous mind!
Go Molly!
July 3, 2009 at 8:14 am
Molly,
Go with who you are…that’s the best thing you can do in your life:~)
Out of curiosity, have you ever taken the Myers Brigg Type Indicator? See if these characteristics of a Perceiver sound like you: being casual, open-ended, pressure prompted, and spontaneous.
Here’s more about the Perceiving preference:
http://www.knowyourtype.com/perceiving.html
July 3, 2009 at 11:35 am
I think we both share this quality, and quality it is. Being “present” rather than “programmed” is my idea of being at peace with my self.
July 3, 2009 at 3:14 pm
I’m a planner … but it seems to go with being a very practical person. That being said, I don’t mind acting on the here and now. I don’t mind other folk who are more of the moment than I, so long as they don’t mind that sometimes for the other person, it can’t be done because I made other plans. Lol!
July 3, 2009 at 7:09 pm
That makes perfect sense! I felt the same way too about planning, it puts a lot of stress, the stress it promised to avoid in the first place. Many times, we just KNOW what we should do, and when we do it, there is more reward, the timing is more perfect had we planned it and got stressed from it.
July 4, 2009 at 4:32 am
Doing what I have done for a living for the last twenty five years, I have often been the subject of a very spelled out schedule. It has also included on call, or crisis duties, that even though I didn’t know WHAT would occur, I found myself always waiting for the phone to ring.
In the last couple of years, I have made a conscious effort to be more in the moment of my work and my free time. It has relieved so much stress for me, about what I SHOULD do. I get that out of my head as much as possible. It still comes up when I am planning for company, or something, that I get caught up in the beforehand details. But, I really try to just sit and BE. We have a newly renovated porch, and what joy it is just to sit on it in a comfy chair and watch and listen, and be together. It is pure heaven.
This one really helps me today to remember to stay grounded, and enjoy every moment in store for me. Have a great day Molly!
July 5, 2009 at 3:30 am
Some moments that I plan to enjoy become challenging and some of them that I plan to be challenging turns out fun!
Destination Infinity
July 6, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Thanks, I enjoyed this. There was a touching, innocent feeling I had when you said “I don’t plan anymore.” I think I’ll experiment with that at some point, if not indefinitely — there was a feeling like that state of non-planning is something I’ve missed out on.
July 6, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Hmmmm – wonderful post!! I am, unlike you very much a planner, detailed organizer – yikes. I have learned as I have grown older..how to be more flexible and let fly..being in the moment..I have to work hard at being present. Otherwise I find myself becoming stiff and cranky. I do not like being a cranky girl!!
Love your blog, I look forward to reading more!!
Namaste, Sarah
July 7, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Somethings you need to plan for but many things you plan for and it don’t work either
Anway let things go freely and naturaly because by then they are not fake, in my opinion!
July 16, 2009 at 11:17 am
I don’t know how I missed this posting! I’ve been feel the same way; but to tell people who want to make plans with me this is so hard to do sometimes. Besides, most of my days are in fact filled with having to do things under planning; i.e., working both inside and outside of the home. I feel as if I need a great escape to get away from it all….no planning, just being for a while. Thanks for the posting! Blessings, Mol