As you guys know, I love Rumi. Love him. In fact, in a past life I am convinced I sat on a dirt floor drinking tea and being mesmerized by his words. In a wishful thinking kind of way. At any rate, I wanted to comment on the ‘thought for the week’.
“Whoever finds love beneath hurt and grief disappears into emptiness with a thousand new disguises.”
You read the words and you think (well, I do), how right he is, and how romantic it sounds. “Yes, turn my hurt and grief into love!”
The truth of the matter is that I will not actually be disappearing into emptiness with a thousand new disguises today, tomorrow, next week, or next month. Because taking hurt and grief and doing anything with it is so much more difficult in the moment than it sounds. My practice is to observe sensations at the level of the body. If I can actually remember to do this in the moment when I am stewing in either hurt or grief, then it is true, the strong emotion/reaction I am feeling, be it hurt or grief or anything else, fades much more quickly and I am less likely to react to the other person. But it is a practice, and I have not perfected it yet. It certainly doesn’t feel like I am about to disappear into emptiness with a thousand new disguises.
But I can see that with continued practice the time spent steeped in the negative emotion does become less, and I am able to come out of the reaction far more quickly, and therefore return to a place of love more quickly. So Rumi’s words, although seemingly a lofty goal, are attainable. In this life. If we are able to come into and really be with the negativity which is arising within us, which is not actually caused by someone else, I suppose that we are on our way to “disappearing into emptiness with a thousand new disguises.”
If you actually get there for more than a few moments at a time, let me know. I might just have some questions for you.
February 16, 2009 at 7:21 am
“a few minutes at a time”
Yes, I visit that place. Perhaps some day I’ll live there. Great post, Molly. Thanks for bringing us back to the basics. We have to again and again..keep practicing….
Peace
February 16, 2009 at 7:47 am
Fw,
Thanks for your comment. Ahhh….the basics.
Peace,
Molly
February 16, 2009 at 8:42 am
The line from Rumi puzzles me, Molly. In my limited experience, to find love is to enter into “truth world.” In truth, there are no disguises and nothing is hidden. Nothing is beneath or above. Grief is love. Hurt is love. (I did say that this was a limited experience…!)
February 16, 2009 at 8:46 am
Barry, I’ll have to think about this some more. In my experience, I can take hurt and grief and do something else with it. Stop reacting to it and it transforms. This is my limited experience.
February 16, 2009 at 9:14 am
When we enter into emptiness, there is nothing, this is where we “be”. There is no hurt or grief in this moment, only in the past or in the future, however in this moment there is an emptiness which does not feel hurt or grief, we simply are. When truly in the moment hurt and grief do not exist.
February 16, 2009 at 12:44 pm
What a great picture! Like a true manifestation of Rumi’s words!
Two sides, one mirror, one reality.
Thank you, Molly.
With palms together,
Uku
February 16, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Yes I came along Rumi and I it intrigues me enormously. Love it. Another one is Hafiz
To transfer hurt and grief is indeed an art. I am blessed that I haven’t experienced hurt nor grieve already for a long time but have both known deeply and was helped by loving people
February 16, 2009 at 7:24 pm
Hey Molly,
Have you heard CD – Gift of Love by Deepak Chopra. It is a beautiful collection of Rumi’s poems with uplifting music. If you would like, I can send you my copy of the disc. I have heard it many times.
Amazon.com: A Gift Of Love: Deepak & Friends Present Music Inspired By The Love Poems Of Rumi: Various Artists: Music
February 16, 2009 at 7:48 pm
To be me–thanks for your insights.
Uku–I like that “two sides–one mirror–one reality. Nice.
Marja–I haven’t read as much Hafiz, but I am intrigued by him as well.
MyoChi–I would love that! Thank you. I’ll e-mail you my address!
February 17, 2009 at 8:27 am
Barry–I’ve had some time to mull over what you said. I couldn’t agree more that in the “truth world” there is no separateness, no above or below. First of all, the words we read are a translation, and who knows if Rumi actually used a word that means below or used another word that didn’t translate all that well.
In the world of truth all is one and nothing is separate. But as humans, we do experience hurt and grief and do feel separate at times from the all-that-is. The person who can take the hurt and grief and access, through it, love, will likely be closer to the truth than the one who takes hurt and grief and decides to reside there and play the victim. Would you agree with that? In the human world where we have to use language that often is inadequate and can only point towards the truth, never actually define it.
That is what I’d say. It is interesting how we each have different perception and different angles. When I read the line by Rumi it resonates truth inside of me. For you it doesn’t make sense. That illustrates a really great point, I think, about our individuality.
February 17, 2009 at 8:39 am
Molly, you wrote:
“In the human world where we have to use language that often is inadequate and can only point towards the truth, never actually define it.
Those are the truest and most adequate (to their explanatory purpose) words I have read today. You just spoke volumes in a single sentence.
February 17, 2009 at 10:35 am
FW–Thank you so much for reading my words. Hope you are having a wonderful day, and that your “100 Days of Practice” are really serving you.
February 17, 2009 at 11:48 am
Hi Molly – Thank you for your thoughtful consideration of my meanderings. I guess I continue to be puzzled by this line, at least in this translation. Primarily, I don’t understand the notion of “disguise” when paired with love.
My experience of love is that it’s undisguised – indeed, it’s fully, frontally naked. When we fail to fully expose ourselves, we fail to fully love. (I’m not talking carnally, of course.)
If we disguise ourselves in any way, much less in a thousand ways, how could we love?
It’s a good koan!
Thanks again,
Barry
February 17, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Barry–
Ahhh, I see where you are coming from now. And it makes sense. And I agree with you, even though the line still resonates with me.
February 17, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Hi Molly,
Great post!
I have been learning how to be “there more than a few moments at a time.” It is a very uplifting and free feeling when we can embrace the hurt. I find, when totally accepted and embraced, it transforms. It become part of you, but as added “strength.” A situation that would have previously got me bent out of shape can now be seen as something I genuinely welcome.
Peace
February 17, 2009 at 8:59 pm
I rather choose to let go of hurtful situations now because life is too short. I can’t be bothered expending the energy … so my motivations aren’t ideal, but hopefully the outcome is easier to live with.
February 18, 2009 at 1:39 am
Do a meditation session. After you relax start bringing in all the pain you can recall, then bring in some more.
Make it as physical as possible as to hurt in every fiber of your being, and then bring in some more. And when your pain is so intense that you feel your heart will burst into pieces open your eyes lift your arms and your head to the sky and yell of the top of your lungs:
I AM ALIVE!!!
That usually helps me a lot – just make sure nobody is around for about a mile
February 18, 2009 at 6:28 am
Aggs–Letting go of hurtful situations is important. Are you able to completely let go? To the point where you harbor no ill-will of any kind towards the other person? Just curious.
BuddhaofHollywood–What an interesting practice. You got a little giigle out of me. Thanks for sharing it. I’ll let you know how it goes!
March 7, 2009 at 9:02 pm
It is continual “practice” for me as well molly. And I haven’t found a way to be there as much as I would like.
I have over the years kept a touchstone in my pocket. When I’m aware enough to feel something rise, I stick my hand in my pocket. As a reminder to just observe…to take a step back. It becomes more automatic over time. Sometimes I find my hand in my pocket for no apparent reason…but when I give it a moment…something I need to be aware of inside me presents.
It helps. And I need to do it again it seems, lol.
What I find is that even if I don’t re-act immediately…that is I consciously make the decision in that moment to actually listen and accept, instead of expect…usually because it’s not the way I thought it would be, lol…that I may have to work on it some later.
Also, I make it a choice now to feel the emotion if it crops up again. Be it tears or anger….feel it, examine it, voice it and then release it.
But it is constant work, a process.
I cam here via mark and I am really liking your blog!!