My husband Dan says things sometimes- as I am rushing out of the house maybe not as consciously as I could be- that really help me drop in a little more, help me ground before I begin the day. Yesterday I was heading to the hospital for a long day of work, and he began relating how he had recently encountered someone and he really worked on seeing them new, fresh, not “bringing the past forward.”
Every moment we are changing, becoming, and so each time we encounter one another we are a different person. (Scientifically, at the cellular level as well, as millions of chemical reactions take place in the body and cells arise and pass away with great rapidity) It seems that most of the time, however, the habit pattern is to bring the past into the present encounter. If you had a tiff yesterday, or were rubbed the wrong way several weeks ago, us ever-evolving-humans let our experience with that person be influenced by the past experience, instead of simply allowing the present to be the present without choosing to let it be colored by the past experiences. Maybe this would be especially helpful to remember over the holidays when we find ourselves in the midst of family and would-be ingrained past habits/patterns. I suppose if our minds are still lingering in the past, this is bound to happen. Which, brings us back to why we practice. To dwell more in the present where the nectar abounds.
As I was leaving, Dan also said, “Don’t be a judge, be a scientist.” (Don’t judge it, just observe it) I liked that too. He read it in a book he is reading called “What the Buddha Taught.” It is sort of the Gideon’s Bible of SE Asia. It was in the bedside table of a hotel where stayed in Thailand. And it is one heck of a good read.
With that, it is time to go sit.
December 19, 2008 at 11:20 am
“Don’t be a judge, be a scientist” – this brilliantly points out the true work ahead. Thank you!
December 19, 2008 at 11:59 am
Thank you, Barry. It does, doesn’t it.
December 19, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Molly,
wonderful, truly wonderful post! Thank you, Dharmasister.
With palms together,
Uku
December 19, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Thank you, Uku. Right back at you.
Peace, Molly
December 20, 2008 at 10:33 am
Does Dan have any wise words specifically for mother/daughter relationships? Can he pass them to you and you to us before the 23rd? That’d be great!
HA!
December 21, 2008 at 9:17 am
Good luck Emily. Observe what arises inside of you and remember that we are all here doing the best we can, Mothers included, and try and leave the past out of your present interactions (as difficult as that is).Embrace everything wonderful about your Mom.
Regarding family stuff, Dan always says to me, treat each encounter as if it is the last time you might see/speak to that person. I find that helpful sometimes.
Happy Holidays to you!
December 25, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Merry Christmas!